I realize (sheepishly) that my last few posts really aren't all that wonderful or reflective of the life I have with the Esteem. I've been pretty self-absorbed in the "poor me" aspect of it and wanted to put out there that I really am not that disadvantaged because of the complications I'm experiencing. While I muddle through the frustrating and not so fun part of the implant surgery and revision, I also want to point out the good. I still love being free. Free to shower, free to exercise, free to swim and play in the rain. Free to sleep at night and hold a quiet conversation with my husband before falling asleep. Free from constantly changing dead batteries or always buying batteries. Free to turn my ear off completely should I need to veg from the hearing world. I have so many good options!
My hearing is at least as good as, if not just a little better than aided hearing. Although I can only be on level 2 or lower, it is functional and I don't struggle terribly. I did a little experiementing too while listening to certain far away or quiet noises. Things like my cat purring, or birds chirping off in the distance, or the clock ticking. I plugged my Esteem ear to see if I could hear these noises with my hearing aided ear and I could not. So these little noises I'm picking up with the Esteem are confirming that I still have gained something, despite the fact it's not perfect. I am frustrated and joyful all at the same time. For every bad thing, there is certainly a good thing too. Just a gentle reminder to myself that the implant really is a blessing, it's just the hiccups along the way, the side effects of the surgeries, that are preventing the complete joy of the implant's full potential.
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