Tomorrow is New Years Day, my birthday, a whole new beginning. I feel as if I've been blessed beyond belief already, and I know that as I become more and more acclimated to my Esteem my hearing will get better yet. It's hard to take it all in, this whirlwind year that 2011 has been. But I am relishing the fact that I have been given a gift (albeit very expensive) to hear without a hearing aid! I love my new ear! It hasn't been an overnight success like I believed it would be, but it has brought me much joy and wonder. I actually did hear fairly well with my aids, and even without them I probably could have gotten by in life, but not as a nurse. Probably as a housewife, maybe a volunteer. Hearing correctly really makes or breaks your success in life. That's my philosophical take on it! :)
Alright, so I'm still at C 2, what's new? I learned a new term, recruitment. It's applied to sensorineural hearing loss only and I think that maybe this is my issue with being unable to go higher on my settings. I am going to put this question out to my engineer on my adjustment day. I was told it is Michelle again, and I'm really excited for that! She's wonderful for the nerves and knows her stuff.
I noticed today a new sound that I had some difficulty identifying with until I put the image in motion together with the noise. The ice melting off the roof of my house and the trees surrounding us! It was dripping and pinging off from high places and at first I was confused what this noise was until I saw a fat water droplet land to the side of me. It's the little things, I swear:)
My incision and area surrounding the implant is more or less the same; itchy and tender. There's been speculation on the Esteem support group on Facebook that perhaps some people reject foreign objects, the Esteem being such an object. I have heard that the engineers are trying to come up with a smaller processor to lessen this chance. While I don't believe I am rejecting the implant, I do believe I am hypersensitive to any foreign material in my body as I have had issues with the hardware in my hips and sutures anytime I've had them. All my screws have to be removed (only one set left) and sutures seem to fester in me. Sorry if that's TMI!
In any case, a smaller processor would be lovely, because the ones we have now do protrude quite a bit. And although I have had it nearly 5 months now, I'm still not used to feeling it when I run my fingers over it. It's still alien feeling. Unnatural. These are the things I wish I had been told before the surgery, that and the fact that when the implant is turned on, it's more than likely going to still be a work in progress, not an overnight success. Don't get me wrong, the implant is ah-mazing! It is everything I dreamed it was. It's just that when it's promoted no one tells you the healing part of it. It's frustrating and wonderful all at the same time. While I am amazed at a sound I haven't heard before, I also am flustered when I still find myself saying "What?" or not hearing someone correctly in a crowded situation or if I'm not looking at the person. My comprehension still needs time to learn and adjust. I've read this issue is common for most of my fellow Esteem implantees, so I'm not too bothered by it. I just wish I weren't so impatient. Hearing really is a skill. I suppose you have to liken it to a foreign language, and we all know it takes time to learn another language! And so I just keep that thought in my head as I go along, and it helps.
Happy New Year everyone! And to my Esteem friends, happy new ears;)
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