A New Year, A New Ear

Tomorrow is New Years Day, my birthday, a whole new beginning. I feel as if I've been blessed beyond belief already, and I know that as I become more and more acclimated to my Esteem my hearing will get better yet. It's hard to take it all in, this whirlwind year that 2011 has been. But I am relishing the fact that I have been given a gift (albeit very expensive) to hear without a hearing aid! I love my new ear! It hasn't been an overnight success like I believed it would be, but it has brought me much joy and wonder. I actually did hear fairly well with my aids, and even without them I probably could have gotten by in life, but not as a nurse. Probably as a housewife, maybe a volunteer. Hearing correctly really makes or breaks your success in life. That's my philosophical take on it! :)

Alright, so I'm still at C 2, what's new? I learned a new term, recruitment. It's applied to sensorineural hearing loss only and I think that maybe this is my issue with being unable to go higher on my settings. I am going to put this question out to my engineer on my adjustment day. I was told it is Michelle again, and I'm really excited for that! She's wonderful for the nerves and knows her stuff.
I noticed today a new sound that I had some difficulty identifying with until I put the image in motion together with the noise. The ice melting off the roof of my house and the trees surrounding us! It was dripping and pinging off from high places and at first I was confused what this noise was until I saw a fat water droplet land to the side of me. It's the little things, I swear:)

My incision and area surrounding the implant is more or less the same; itchy and tender. There's been speculation on the Esteem support group on Facebook that perhaps some people reject foreign objects, the Esteem being such an object. I have heard that the engineers are trying to come up with a smaller processor to lessen this chance. While I don't believe I am rejecting the implant, I do believe I am hypersensitive to any foreign material in my body as I have had issues with the hardware in my hips and sutures anytime I've had them. All my screws have to be removed (only one set left) and sutures seem to fester in me. Sorry if that's TMI!
In any case, a smaller processor would be lovely, because the ones we have now do protrude quite a bit. And although I have had it nearly 5 months now, I'm still not used to feeling it when I run my fingers over it. It's still alien feeling. Unnatural. These are the things I wish I had been told before the surgery, that and the fact that when the implant is turned on, it's more than likely going to still be a work in progress, not an overnight success. Don't get me wrong, the implant is ah-mazing! It is everything I dreamed it was. It's just that when it's promoted no one tells you the healing part of it. It's frustrating and wonderful all at the same time. While I am amazed at a sound I haven't heard before, I also am flustered when I still find myself saying "What?" or not hearing someone correctly in a crowded situation or if I'm not looking at the person. My comprehension still needs time to learn and adjust. I've read this issue is common for most of my fellow Esteem implantees, so I'm not too bothered by it. I just wish I weren't so impatient. Hearing really is a skill. I suppose you have to liken it to a foreign language, and we all know it takes time to learn another language! And so I just keep that thought in my head as I go along, and it helps.

Happy New Year everyone! And to my Esteem friends, happy new ears;)

C 2, As Good As It Gets

I am still incredibly itchy all around the implant!! This can't be normal. The incision is still terribly tender but I think most of the scabbing has healed. My mom found two spots that are black and probably sutures. Maybe I am allergic to the sutures used? But why would the entire area around the implant itch like it does?? I really hope the Envoy rep or Dr. Seidman can reassure me when I see them in January. I'm also just resigned to the fact that I'm unable to go any higher than C 2. I tried one last time to go to C 3 (even jumping to C 5 just to see what it was like) and any higher pitched noises, my voice included were just painfully amplified. I'm not getting feedback of any sort, which is fantastic, but the sound is just not comfortable for my ear above C 2. It's like when you are listening to headphones or the car stereo way too loud and your ears start to ring and get irritated from the noise, or almost like your ear drum pulses or throbs from the sounds, which can be almost painful.
On another note, swallowing isn't as noticable anymore:) It's still loud, for sure, but I think I'm getting used to it finally. And my right ear has been my "go to" ear for everything now - the phone, people whispering things in my ear, listening to You Tube on my computer, etc. It's amazing to me as I was always used to my left ear being dominant.
I also haven't needed to turn the implant off during the time I blow dry my hair! And that one really loud toilet at work doesn't seem as loud anymore when I flush it. I do feel that is a good indication that I am becoming much more aclimated to the Esteem.

And at my audiology appointment my audiologist sent my right H.A. in to be switched to a left H.A. This will be great, as I now will have a back up aid! I'm pretty happy I thought to ask for that to be done!!

Beautiful Music!

O.M.G...(I swore I would never use that abbreviation but this is huge!!)
I used my iPod for the first time since my Esteem surgery and the sound of the music nearly brought tears to my eyes! It is so clear, so astounding and so complex! I LOVE the way it sounds! It made me so happy I danced in the kitchen listening to it, lol!! And if you know my recent history of my hip issues, you know that's not easy!

I'm incredibly amazed at the gifts the hearing implant is continually giving me. I pray this can be allowed and achievable for everyone. Insurance really needs to step up! I really need to figure out how to get lobbying on this.

1st Adjustment Scheduled

January 10th at 11:30 is my tentative adjustment date, providing I can be off work that day. I will be meeting a fellow implantee that day after our appts, it's her activation day, so very exciting:-)

I'm still stuck at C 2 and have finished my 2nd course of Zyrtec D and still have a lot of fluid in my ears. This is a bit frustrating honestly. I know it's going to take time but I can't help but be impatient. Due to the fluid, I don't feel as if I'm hearing to my best potential right now.

The incision is looking better (my wonderful hubby has been cleaning it for me) and appears to be closing now. The scab is smaller and although I still have the itchies, it isn't as bad as before. Only another week on Keflex!

The Answer To My Incision Problem

I got ahold of Dr. Seidman via email due to the scabbing and itching of my incision and he answered back shortly.
1) I am to GENTLY clean the incision with peroxide. (I did and ouch! It burned...)
2) I am to put some triple antibiotic ointment sparingly on it.
3) I am to start a course of Keflex antibiotics (blech! I hate Keflex!)

Anyway, so I ate my words from my last post, and although I don't have a fever and the incision isn't draining, we are treating it as if it is infected. Hopefully after this treatment is done I won't have any further issues!

**On a side note, my taste is coming back more and more:)
I had to go back down to C 2, as C 3 was still too loud, and I think it mostly has to do with fluid in the ear. I'm still taking Zyrtec-D for that but it really doesn't seem to be working as well this time.

Slow And Steady....

I finally turned my implant up to C 3 today. I figured it had to happen at some point. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to be able to adjust or not. It is loud enough to make my ears ring. I'm giving it a few days to try it out and I see my audiologist Thursday too, so maybe that will help things.

On another note, my incision is really starting to concern me. I'm almost 15 weeks post op and it is doing ok behind the ear, but on the scalp it is getting wider and doesn't seem to want to heal. It itches terribly and keeps scabbing over versus just finally and totally closing. I don't know what to think. When I do scratch it, it feels really sore right after. I'm trying to leave it alone but it's really bad! I suppose a call to the surgeon is probably in order, but then again, maybe it's nothing to worry so much about. It isn't infected, so there's that at least!